When it comes to disciplines (praying, reading the bible, going to church, etc.) , I’ve found myself in one of three places:
1. I do it out of guilt
2. I don’t do it because I don’t want to do something out of guilt
3. I do it, not because I “have” to, but because I “get” to
In recent years I’ve become quite comfortable with numbers 2 & 3 and avoid #1 at all costs. I’d rather not do something at all than to do it out of guilt.
Here are a few questions to get the conversation going…
How much of your faith is driven by guilt?
What is the difference between discipline and obligation/guilt?
Is there anything you feel like you have to do to earn God’s love?
If you only participated in aspects of faith that you wanted to do, would you do anything at all?
Updating…
Tim leads a faith community in Seattle called Dust Church.
i understand what you are saying, but i think most of us want to want, but that is our problem. we dont really want to, or as maybe tim was saying get to.
i think we default back to have to, because want to and get to wont “get er done”
I really identify with what Tim was saying about the difference between have to and get to. If you step back, we challenge this ideology in many aspects of our lives. Some of us go to work because we feel like we have to. Others see their job as a privilege. Some people love their family out of obligation, feeling like its a chore to show affection, to take interest in those we love. Others count it an awesome privilege to have people we can love and invest into. This simple change in “posture”, as Tim calls it, changes our whole attitude and approach. I think we have to continue this posture change in all aspects of life, but most importantly, in faith. I believe man’s existence comes down to love, loving God and loving others. But its all privilege, not obligation.
Instead of saying “I have to” say “I get to” – great idea! I really like that.
I hope I can remember it next time I’m feeling annoyed that I have to do something.
If I only did what I felt like doing I would be sitting here watching old movies & eating Grater’s (ice cream). OK in small doses but not something I should do everyday for many reasons. I rarely or never feel like doing the grocery shoppping or cleaning the bathroom but these are some of the things I NEED to do for health & safety so I do them. At one point I was too ill to do these things & it really changed my perspective. Now I see that the God given ability to do the ordinary and sometimes gross jobs in life is a gift! I still don’t clean the toliet for a good time but I love that it’s clean & am thankful that I am able to clean it! I get to do it. God has asked me to do some things that I didn’t want to do but I did them (sometimes kicking,screaming,etc) & only later was I able to see a glimplse of His purpose. Then I get it & I get to do it too!
As I see it Tims point is not that we dont have to do some things.
Tims point is that gratitude toward and for God is crucial.
We Christians love to parse words,put ourselves in one up positions on each other,make others appear to not have as much insight and generally compare our best with their worst.
Keep creating these vignettes – small stuff is the big stuff
I find it helpful to differentiate between “discipline” and “obligation or guilt”. There are times when I don’t want to do something, but I do it anyways out of discipline. Not because I would feel guilty if I hadn’t done it, but because past experience has shown that said activity is good for me. I want to do things that I don’t want to do. There are also times when I realize that I don’t know why I do something. If I find myself doing something purely out of obligation or guilt that’s not OK with me anymore. For instance, I don’t pray at meals anymore. I’ve found that it’s important for me to be thankful to my creator, but I was only praying at meals out of cultural customs. I’ve found other ways in my life to be thankful. This isn’t to say that I think praying at meals is bad, it’s just that it’s meaning is lost on me.
Jim, I don’t think it helps that emotional manipulation is used by leaders in some Christian circles to make Christians feel guilty if they don’t do certain things (like evangelism?) I don’t think those leaders believe that emphasizing peoples’ freedom will encourage them to be better Jesus followers.
Craig, it seems to me that “have to/get to” can be helpfully applied to disciplines.
We can say “I get to do this thing which is good for me” (or good for someone else). For me that does take a mental shift – I need to remind myself that something uncomfortable can still be a privilege/opportunity/choice that I can be appreciative I “get to” do.
The problem with this for me is when I don’t actually feel that “I get to” is really any better…and then I feel shitty for not even being able to muster up the feeling of gratitude that “I get to” would embody.
A while ago someone brought this distinction to my attention. I found it rather helpful is providing more sincerity in my actions and less guilt/obligation. It seemed to let me be more effective in doing what I was best suited for. Following a list doesn’t really cater to individuality. But more than not taking guilt out of the scenario seems to bring God out of the scenario. If I want to help out at a soup kitchen, for example, am I doing it, intrinsically, for God or simply for the morality or goodness of the matter?