point is.. ideology and sentiment do get us by.. but for how long? we can certainly psyche ourselves into things.. and sometimes that’s the best we can do, and that’s better than some alternatives.. I look at my 20 or so years in churchianity in a myriad of denom’s as a blessing and a curse.. but am grateful i’m an alum… and not regretful i don’t have to do alpha or spout scrips to justify anything easily…

Life is messy, God is there, He has to be, cause if he ain’t, evil surely is.. and if that’s all there is .. we’re so very very F–d. I like the way Bart puts it.. we hug cause we don’t know what else to do.. that’s pretty simple.. Generosity doesn’t take rocket science either.. but we sure make it complicated don’t we?

pleasure and contentment be yours, In the deepest Hue of love you can find right now..

namely, you can be in a relation and not in one, but so much is dependant on what you percieve, your working understanding of that interchange.. and what you are receiving and giving to the every day of that.. but beyond that, there is an even deeper reality.. that for some it takes years, and others they never see it.. I guess that’s why I see that some can be in a different system or perception and as long as they follow what I resonate is the path of love to a certain extent.. Jesus will pull off his mask of Buddha or Pagan, or Porsche right before we get inside the gates of heaven.. he’s not so bound with Labels and Logo’s.. even though they can get ya in the doors in some places here..

it is funny to see so many here claiming not the name brand of christian anymore, but still so sincerely inquiring and diligently pursuing the Divine person in a more intimate relation with Jesus.. kudo’s.. but let’s get a backbone.. lol

Tears sprang up for me when you mentioned your hubby getting kicked out of seminary because they said your autistic child was causing trouble.

I know what it feels like to get kicked out of a “Christian” organization in a painful horrible way.

And I work many hours each week with the most amazingly beautiful little 6 year old autistic child, who is such a treasure.

You rock for being there as mom for an autistic child. I mean rock.

Have you connected at all with that church called The Refuge which Craig did a video about on here called The Walk? It’s in Broomfield, which looks to be about 30 minutes north of Denver. They seem to be safe people.

The only thing that I would say is that not every action a Christian makes, not every statement, judgement, etc. comes from God. It’s been my experience that loads of it just doesn’t. I don’t understand why we christians do so much hurt to one another, just another topic that I have to chalk up to a lack of understanding on my part. I know sometimes it can be difficult to separate the one causing the pain from the One they say they represent.

Blessings to you Tami, I pray you’ll find the peace you seek.
Peggy

As I said, this is gut-level. I don’t want any advice, or a course, or for people to quote scripture I already know, or to hear more plaitudes. I left that all behind a few years ago when my husband was kicked out of seminary here in Denver because our Autistic child was “causing people discomfort and trouble” in our on-campus apartment complex. I have traded all that head knowledge for a 12-inch journey to my actual heart. I have very little patience or respect for simple answers any more.
Gut level.
I want peace.
I may not get peace right now.
It’s beyond my understanding.
So I’m putting it out there.
And I’m hoping for a new understanding.
Even without answers.
But always still on the journey.

What if there is no god?
I believe there is a God. One God. The Bible is about Him. There are archeological findings that back up many of the events written about in it. The dead sea scrolls also factor in for proof of accuracy of many of the writings. Paul writes in the Romans 1:19-21 “For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.” Creation speaks of it and the follower’s of Jesus believed it – these eye witnesses believed it so much so that they risked and lost their lives proclaiming it.

Obviously I am not communicating clearly, as I never meant that He doesn’t help or that He doesn’t answer prayers or that He doesn’t talk to us. I’m saying that my lack of ability to hear clearly or my lack of understanding or unwillingness to accept how He answers my prayers are my failings and never His. He is God and I am not. He understands and knows all things – I only see a small segment or as Paul said in I Cor 13:12 “For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.” I think that scripture is saying that I’m not capable of knowing everything now and what I see and what I understand is dim compared to the knowledge of God.

Yes lots of people were crucified, but only one conquered death. Only one was a perfect offering, atoning for my sins. He was innocent but died a criminals death, He was dead – yet He rose from the grave. His grace is enough for me.

We live in a fallen world. One that we humans handed to the enemy on a silver plater in the Garden of Eden – I believe that it’s God’s plan to put things right. I don’t understand it all, I simply don’t I wish I did. I wish I was eloquent enough, knowledgeable enough, charismatic enough to be able to communicate well enough so that what I mean to say is what heard……….but I’m not. But I believe because He loves us so much that He is willing to leave things a little while as they are so that all those who will turn to Him for their salvation will have the opportunity to do so.

You want something tangible and all I can only tell you is what God has done for me, tangibly done for me. He lifted a heavy addiction from me in an instant. He has either sent expected monies or stretched what little I had to cover my financial needs. He has placed people in my life at several critical times when I don’t think I would have survived without them. He has never forsaken me or forgotten me even when His answer wasn’t the answer I wanted. When I finally laid down the burden of my life, what I saw as my control, my desire to be in charge – when I laid that at His feet He gave me peace.

I don’t know where you live, but I do know there is a program offered at many churches. It’s called ALPHA. It is a safe place to ask the questions you are asking. It is a safe place to obtain some of the answers that I’m just not qualified enough to answer clearly for you. You don’t have to attend that church or be a Christian. It’s just a place to ask these type of questions.