We’ve had long run of cerebral videos lately, so I thought we’d break that up with a story from Mark Scandrette. It’s a long one (14 minutes), so grab some popcorn and turn down the lights ☺
Mark asks this question in the video:
“Is an act of love only significant because of the change it produces in another person or can the meaning be in the act itself?”
How would you answer Mark’s question?
Updating…
Mark Scandrette is the founding director of ReIMAGINE! in San Francisco, CA. He’s written the book Soul Graffiti and blogs at MarkScandrette.com.
Re: the question. I don’t really buy into the “or”. Acts of love are significant, period. The meaning exists between the lover and the beloved. Change necessarily happens for both–that’s the nature of love.
The story is beautiful and brilliantly told. Thank you so much to you, Craig, for putting it on video so brilliantly, and to you, Mark, for firstly making the story happen, and secondly putting in the work to tell it well.
Liked it too. I find prickly people really hard to love, especially when I feel they’re taking the piss out of my efforts. Maybe I need to learn to persevere.
It’s funny how at the top, it says to “grab some popcorn…” I was already eating some at that moment even before I clicked on this link!
Anyways, at first, all I could think of was, “Why did Ben send me this strange, vile story?” Then, as I listened a little further, it reminded me of a similar story that I read just a few days ago, where a nurse had met a mean old man that no one had loved. Through her love, friendliness and persistence, the mean old man’s heart eventually softened enough to see Christ within the nice loving woman, and the man got Saved.
Jesus hung around the unlovable people of His day. He set the example for us. Shouldn’t we do likewise?
Bridget,
I think that your story is great! But I don’t think that that is the message Mark wanted us to get. I think that the message was to love everyone, not just to make them believers in Christ, but because its the right thing to do
Very nice ! Enjoyed it. All the best.
One of the things I love about this story is that it doesn’t have the expected ‘Christian’ conclusion. Instead, it demonstrates (for me) the answer to your question: Love is significant because love is significant. Yes, it changed the Emperor. But not necessarily in the way intended. And it would have been just as significant if it hadn’t.
True love is. It may bring the intended results, it may not. But love expresses itself whether or not there is change.
As Christ followers we need to get past the “I’ll love you if you come over to our side” into “I love you, even if you don’t change”.
Well said AL ! Mark has demonstrated that, “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”
The mark of a moderate (balanced) man is freedom from his own ideas.
Tolerant like the sky, all-pervading like sunlight,firm like a mountain, supple like a tree in the wind,he has no destination in view and makes use of anything life happens to bring his way.
http://www.qfrases.com/english/laozi.php
This was a great story. Acts of love, no matter how heartfelt and sincere don’t always lead to change. Christians often throw around the term “love them like Jesus” but I’m never sure about what that really means. What Mark and his friends have shown the Emperor is what I’ve always imagined that love to look like. For me all acts of love are significant, whether or not they make an impact or cause a change. However loving someone you know you will never change or even reach, just because it’s the right thing to do is pretty awesome. These acts often have no impact on the person receiving them, but they always have a considerable impact on me.
I love this question! First, a quick preface.
I was sexually molested by my father for most of my childhood and into my teen years. My field is Developmental Psychology and so I am acutely aware of the many stages of development that were affected. I think just about everybody would give me a free pass to be very very messed up. The thing is..I’m not. I worked hard in therapy (and out)and I can honestly say that even though I’ve had some really rough times and have certainly struggled to just put one foot in front of the other, I am now very happy, productive and have a WONDERFUL husband (25+ yrs) and a 24 yr old son who is a constant source of joy and amazement.
As for my family of origin (and I swear I am about to get to the great question) my father is a depressed and broken man. As an act of love, I forgave him many decades ago. I made the decision to do so (and it came from an authentic place). I fully expected that my dad would feel free from the burden HE carries about the abuse. Such was not the case. It surprised me and made me ask a lot of questions about the nature of love and forgiveness.
To this day, my dad suffers. He is waiting to die. Every time I speak with him I tell him that I love him. I call to his remembrance all the good times that also were a part of our household growing up. Many of those things were his doing. It does not seem to make any difference to him. I am saddened to know that my dad has had a life of overwhelming sadness. I want him to be free. I want him to know joy. I want him to have peace.
I have come to realize that I can extend the invitation to all these things but ultimately he is in charge of the RSVP. So, what about my loving him? Is it all a wasted effort? Hardly. My heart has grown as well as my compassion. I treasure the love I extend. It most certainly is valid and valuable in the extension itself.
C.S. Lewis said best when he said that hell is locked from the inside out.