Klarisa was one of the sixteen people Jim Henderson, Todd Hunter and myself interviewed in our DVB (book + DVD) The Outsider Interviews. Klarisa told me that all but one of her Christian friends abandoned her after she decided to get an abortion. Did you catch that? All but one of her Christian friends cut off friendship after she made a decision that conflicted with their beliefs. Personally, I find it incredibly sad that she was abandoned, especially in a time of such great need. I aim to be the kind of friend that Klarisa talks about in this clip who stuck with her through it all.
How have you responded to friends who have made decisions you’ve disagreed with?
More stories from Klarisa and 15 others are told in The Outsider Interviews. I’d be honored if you’d pick up a copy at Barnes & Noble, Amazon, or in The Recycle Your Faith Store.
Klarisa, you don’t have to justify yourself to me or to any other Christian or anyone else. I’m sorry some of your friends couldn’t cope with your choices, but glad that someone stayed with you.
Is it too harsh to say that if you have friends like these it might be time to get some new friends?
I am glad there was someone there to show the love of Christ to Klarisa through this difficult time. I think for me, it’s easy to identify with Klarisa’s emotions (because I couldn’t fathom the situation). I’ve personally made decisions within the last couple of months that will totally separate me from many Christians that I love. They simply can’t handle some of the choices I’ve made and maintain that I’m still a Christian. I want to know what part of us fuels this need to reject others for making decisions we disagree with. Is it our desire to feel superior? Is it out of fear that we might make the same decision?
In answer to Craig’s question: “How have you responded to friends who have made decisions you’ve disagreed with?” My answer is “not that well”. In past experiences, I erred on the side of judgement vs. love and I’m very ashamed of myself for it. Thanks again Craig for posting these videos….. They truly challenge me at the core of my being.
Jason
Funny thing is people equate disagreeing with hatred or contempt. I can completely disagree with someone, recognize potentially dangerous consequences, yet allow them to make their own decisions and still love them.
None of that absolves them from their accountability before their Creator, but God is/was bigger than all my bad decisions when I acknowledged Jesus. Surely He hasn’t shrunk.
Craig’s question is difficult. To say the least. I have disagreed with friends decisions before and maintained love and care for that person at the same time. I do believe it should be that way no matter what. Love and care. That’s what Jesus is all about. Outward love. But I struggle with the “support” aspect. Can I not show love for someone while completely disagreeing with their decision? Have I breached love by saying that I believe the person’s choice is wrong?
Consider the Father of the Prodigal. He let his son have his way even though it was a grave insult, gave him the money, and let him leave home knowing it wouldn’t turn out well.
Did He “reject” him by not following after, or sending more money after he’d squandered his inheritance? He loved him, but waited for him to come to his senses and welcomed him back as a son when he returned. His apparent “lack of support” doesn’t diminish or negate his love.
It seems Klarisa’s friend was both firm and loving, but let K’s decision be her own. As a Christian, I think she’d have breached the the relationship if she hadn’t “spoke the truth in love.”
This breaks my heart to know that you were shunned by so many. It’s just fear and ignorance, Klarissa. It isn’t the face of God or God’s heart. God wants the best for you and that means he wants others to accept you for the choices you make. It’s none of their business what you do or did. It’s between you and God. If abortion is wrong, then you will feel the consequence of it naturally. You don’t need their help in persecuting you, because we all persecute ourselves when we do something wrong. That is why we are not to judge. We all have our own inner judges and that is all we need to know right from wrong. If you made this decision with good motives in your heart, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Always remember that God’s opinion is what counts. People’s opinions will always fall short of God’s as they can’t see all your true beauty. I hope you will be able to forgive those people who knew not what they were doing to hurt you and hurt God by abandoning you in your time of need.