This week we continue to highlight people working to make the world a better place with a clip from Bart Campolo. A few years back Bart and his family moved to an impoverished urban neighborhood in Cincinnati, Ohio to love and support the community. But it’s not that simple. This story beautifully captures some of the messiness of their relationships.
Updating…
Bart Campolo is the founder of Mission Year and is the leader of a local ministry in inner city Cincinnati called The Walnut Hills Fellowship.
I cry every time I get to the part where Bart tells the mom to shut up.
Wow. I think I would have walked around the car, opened the door and told her to get out at that point.
Yes…love is possible with those we hate. Jesus commanded us to love our enemies. That would not be possible if he were commanding us to FEEL loving towards those who are contemptable (that would in fact be sick). But love is an action, not a feeling. We ACT towards our enemies in ways that we would imagine acting toward someone who warrants our affection, despite feelings of contempt. This actually works, by the way. I had to love my mother in law this way for a good part of a year. I could not summon any good feelings at all toward her, but determined to intentionally serve her in ways that I would if I DID have those feelings. It was nearly unbearable for a while, but ultimately I found that my heart changed towards her, and she seemed to warm to me. The end result was a new relationship, between me and her and between her and God. This is a miracle, I believe. Love wins every time.
So Bart was loving this woman all along, really. By serving her, while he felt contempt for her, he was actually loving her. She felt it and responded the only way she knew how with “I love you.” That’s really beautiful.
Is wanting the best for someone Love? Is there a difference between love and affection?
Dave – your question has haunted me these past few weeks! I’ve wanted to respond, but haven’t known what to say! “Is wanting the best for someone love?” Yeah, I think that’s a pretty fair definition. As I think about it I keep coming back to the word “want”. I like how “want” communicates that the person loving may want something, but may not be able to do anything about it. This definition seems to be less co-dependent than the love that I’ve often been taught in Christianity. I like that:-) “Is there a difference between love and affection?” This one’s a little easier for me….yes! Thanks, Dave, for challenging me to think about this!
This is the stretch that I constantly strive towards. To not just give away what I no longer want or need and call it ‘charity’. To not just help or assist the people ready, willing and appreciative of it. I have a neighbor that I am in relation with that is similar to Bart’s situation although thankfully not to the same degree. This woman is an unfit mother, very rude and a user. I’ve given her lots of stuff, nothing that I’ve missed. The other night I was getting another care package ready for her and her baby and I felt moved to give her my favorite bathrobe. Sounds silly maybe to you but I have a thing for bathrobes. This one was my favorite, perfection wrapped around you on a cold Kansas night. I felt the need to give it to her although I didn’t WANT to give it to her. This is the adventure of asking God to not just ‘save’ you but to be your role model, you end up doing things that don’t really make sense up front. I gave her the robe, she asked me why I was giving it to her. She could see this wasn’t the usual ‘doesn’t fit me, I don’t want it’ stuff she’s used to getting. I told her I wanted her to have it, ‘I love this robe and I hope you do too’. The look on her face was different than I’ve seen before although the next day we were back to dirty looks. I don’t care, I know God was working on something between us that night. That stretch felt good in hindsight, even if it was a struggle to get there.
Thanks for the great real example Bart. You are inspiring in all your honesty.
Thanks for another kick butt video Craig!
This has got to be the most compelling, real, bare-knuckles video that has appeared on this site yet (for me at least!). And that’s saying something because there have been some really, really good ones!
Thank you Bart for being so brutally honest. Honest with her. Honest with us.
“And it gives me hope, that on some level it connects her to something…”
Damn, this was amazing.
Thank you, Bart. For doing what many of us have not.
After watching this clip I am not sure that I have anything to add to the conversation other than my heart is absorbing this story like a sponge. Thank you, Bart.
I’m Speechless. Powerful. This is love.
I’ve been thinking recently about this. We have a bunch of ‘bums’ who hang around our church, usually when there are free refreshments going. I have a major problem with the church and its refusal to engage with these people – but anyway, whilst talking to one I totally lost it. Churches are an easy touch as everywhere else they go they have to pay or do something in return for receiving stuff. Indeed, by effectively ignoring them and allowing them to consume stuff which is supposed to be for those at the services, we’re contributing to dependency.
Of course it is a thin line, but ‘accepting’ does not have to mean that we’re not also holding out for something better. To believe in something better for someone who cannot believe in it for themselves has got to be a good thing.