This is the last week in a four-part series called Four Perspectives on Homosexuality. Each week a different person will be highlighted with a different point of view. A new segment called “Rewind” will also accompany these week’s main video. Rewind segments give you a glimpse into the experiences that have shaped the interviewee’s perspectives. For more information about the Four Perspectives on Homosexuality series click here.
What do you think about the billboards Rich’s church did after Prop 8? Do you agree with Rich that Christianity is on the wrong side of history when it comes to homosexuality?
ABOUT THE INTERVIEWEE: Rich McCullen is Lead Pastor at Mission Gathering in San Diego.
OTHER CLIPS BY: RICH MCCULLEN
OTHER CLIPS ABOUT: Homosexuality
PURCHASE THIS CLIP: RYF Vol. 3 | On the Wrong Side of History
Bravo!
Yes. Yes. Yes. This is the most rational, loving and inclusive response to a slice of humanity that has (mostly) been forced to live outside the walls of communities that should be there for all who desire to engage in Christian spiritual practices. Hmmmm? Feeling called to San Diego? Or feeling called to inculcate this needful ‘for the sake of others’ ethos from my own sandbox? There is a parallel discussion that should be generated (in a similar fashion) on the other twin pillar of the culture war: abortion. Now I’m thinking – really thinking. Thanks Craig – and thanks Rich for stepping up the plate with courage.
When my GLBT Christians struggle to find their place in God and the Kingdom, they find a more authentic place in themselves and in God. And, more importantly, they are wonderful reflection of Jesus. I LOVE my GLBT friends, in and out of the Kingdom. visit my blog http://www.canyonwalkerconnections.com (week 2 of this series) Looking forward to meeting you in person Rich.
From a guy who has not figured this all out yet…who can presently only say “I would rather err on the side of grace” regarding this issue…thank you for this helpful, disturbing, enlightening, infuriating, provocative series, Craig. I’m such a chicken when it comes to these kind of subjects, so I am thankful for friends like you, Kathy, and Jim Henderson, who seem to have the gift for it. We cowards need your voices to be heard (and we need to listen to them).
Randy,
what do you mean when you say you are a chicken when it comes to these kinds of subjects?
Amen brother.
I live outside the US right now, but when I learned what was being said in the church, I was so disappointed. I wish everyone would really read the bible. I just finished a study on Romans 8 and we see a picture of God loving us, wanting to help us, wanted to free us of our sin, free of from death, free us from enslavement to fear. He does NOT want to condemn us, but condemn that which would destroy us.
Benjamin,
I mean I’m just weary of all the anger and meanness and politics and agendas. I don’t think the answer is easy or simple, as parties on both sides seem to imply. And frankly I find it just too exhausting. Maybe I’m just getting old, but I just don’t have much fight left in me. And it seems to be engaged with some of these subjects you have to be willing to fight…or just take regular beatings. So I let others do the fighting as they feel led, and admire their courage from a distance.
Randy,
I hear you. Probably you’ll end up with greater happiness and fewer ulcers than the rest of us =).
Funny Randy…you are so not too old. (maybe your “mancave” is, but not you. Yes, there are beatings. I am learning to do the two or three rule engagement. I can pretty well size up what the intent of the dialogue is—is it to TELL me what I am doing wrong? is it to TELL me I am not a Christian (yes, I have been told that 3 times in the last 12 hours by a open air preacher on line)? Is is to fix me? Are they raging beyond the issue? Are they fixated on the GLBT issue above all others as THOSE are the ones not getting in the Gates? When I see all this, I move on. Much better places ot engage. BUT, the upside is the ones that God uses me to reach. The ones who feel utterly hopeless and alone. Like the 21 yr old girl in TN that I spoke to Saturday pm for 2 hours about her crisis of faith. She is not even sure of her orientation, she just hates the way the church treats “others”. THere was Kingdom fruit in that ans God let me have a front row seat. Or th meeting with pastors in CA on Sunday and I was able to express the hearts and voices of those that seem to have lost thier voice to certain ears. That all make the beatings worth it. And truely, the blessings FAR FAR FAR outweigh the beatings. I guess the bootom line is if God really does call you to something, He will equip and bless you. I feel both called and equipt. You Randy have a different and wonderful place on the road to the Throne of Grace. And you do that very very well indeed.
I’d never heard of RYF until about a week ago when I saw Adam Hood’s story posted on a popular gay rights blog. I’ve since caught up on all the videos here, this is a great site! As a straight Christian who whole heartedly supports LGBT rights, I’ve found this series to be very interesting. I didn’t become a Christian until my late 20s, and before then I had many friends who were gay. As I’ve strengthened my relationship with God over the past few years, I find that I don’t love them any less now that I’m a Christian. They are some of the best people I know, more loving and accepting than many Christians! So many of them grew up going to church, and would love to come back, but as one friend puts it, the “Un-Christian behavior of Christians” towards gays/lesbians stops him from walking into a church. I so often wonder if I serve a different Jesus than the rest of my church. The Jesus I serve, at least my personal Jesus, is all about love and service. I’ll continue to love and serve the LGBT community so that when and if they do walk into a church they will see at least one kind face who will love, serve, and accept them, no matter their sexual orientation.
thank you for your post. im going thru some horrific family issues at the moment over this very topic. ur words brought tears to my eyes, and i wanted to thank you. they touched my heart.
RELEVANT-http://fm.thevillagechurch.net/culture-theology
Well, perhaps relevant. But this guy is way off. He mocks the arguments of gay Christians but yet his arguments are full of holes and he makes claims that he says are “scholarly” but that are refuted left and right by honest scholars.
This is the kind of preaching that kills.
I have gone back to the sermon, and Matt very clearly states that he is not a scholar or historian in the first 5 minutes. I am wondering if you were able to hear all 3 videos as well. Also, i just want to ask if you have seen or heard me condemn anyone of the GL community? I trying to figure out how we are getting off on this wrong start.
I think that the real trouble lies in the fact that for us to get on the “right” side of history, it seems a violent or turbulent revolution must occur. It took the Civil War to abolish slavery, and 100ish years for the Civil Rights Movement to be successful. At some point, it seems like the same thing must happen for the gay community. I think that dialog between the church and the gay community is vital for avoiding a violent revolution. The church has to stop firing missiles and both communities have to be willing to dialog without the need to be “right.” It seems that apology is powerful. I watched “Lord, save us from your followers” yesterday and the guy made a confession booth at a Pride event. He confessed to the people who came in just as this church did with the billboard, and it opened up discussion. Pretty cool.
Did anyone here commenting above see the other video post, “Homosexuality is a Sin.” If so, did you not agree with the guy? I am having trouble with understanding real message of this site. Thank you for sharing, I really don’t want to seem unapproachable or without compassion, that is why I am interested in the topic, because I do care.
Shaun,
There is a whole message thread devoted to the “Homosexuality is a Sin” video if you want to chime in. The message of this site doesn’t seem to be any one view point on the subject but rather a forum for discussing a difference of ideas.
Regarding the video you linked, I listened to the whole thing and have spent a good part of the day considering what he said. I want to say to you and to any others who might have heard it, gay and lesbian people especially, that what you are hearing in that sermon is not truth. The seed of hopelessness and the idea that God does not love you as you are is nothing but the whispers of the accuser. The man preaching claims to love and care for you but his real motive is only thinly veiled. He doesn’t like you; he mocks your experience of God, scripture, and the Holy Spirit; he doesn’t understand you; and he certainly doesn’t speak for God. Please don’t believe what he says. God loves you and created you in His image and all His works are good. Each of us fails in life and love, but this is true across humanity, gay and straight alike.
What he said is down-right dangerous to the faith and lives of the gay and lesbian people under his leadership. I really mean it when I say that this is the kind of preaching that kills. It is certainly the kind of preaching that separates God’s children further from the truth of a loving God.
Lisa, with all respect the comments you are posting are outside the rules of this site. It is my suggestion that you should refrain from debate. Your truth claims are inconsistent with others, including myself. The purpose of this site is in your words, “discussing a difference of ideas,” is inconsistent from the way you are communicating and in violation of the site’s admin: Equally important, we want the comments to reflect dialog rather than debate, so we’ve set up a few general guidelines for comments called “Dialog, not Debate” (seehttp://www.recycleyourfaith.com/dialog-not-debate/.) I apologize if you feel that I am ignorant, but Lisa you need to abide by rules and not make them up as you see fit. Further, I know Matt and I know the content of his message in the video never states or intends to display that God does not love everyone equally. Please reconsider.
Shaun,
My response wasn’t to you, it was to Matt’s sermon. I’m sorry if you felt that they were directed towards you, that was not my intention.
I wasn’t trying to debate anyone in my comments regarding his sermon. I feel very protective of my gay and lesbian brother’s and sisters, I’ve shared in the isolation, fear, and shame that they feel. I commented as I did because Matt’s words are spiritually dangerous and could in fact be deadly for the hopeless and alone gay or lesbian within earshot. Yes, he disclaims in the first 5 minutes, then he spends two hours making enormous definitive statements that have zero ramifications for his life and heart breaking ramifications for the lives of the gay and lesbian people. If words like his are put into conversation I feel very strongly that there needs to be an alternatives voice.
I am curious about a few things (within the confines of dialogue)—why is it appropriate to post a series anti-the-gay-christian POV by Matt Chandler, yet, a person, to whom this topic clearly is personal, cannot express herself the way she did. I think Lisa was quite restrained for the amount of pressure and pain caused by the church. I have worked in this arena for five years and GLBT Christians are tired of being told their existence is an oxymoron. Maybe you both would consider reading what I have to say about these scriptures. I think the church has caused tremendous pain that straight people who have no intimate relationships with GLBT do not understand.
Lisa, check out my blog. I understand this issue quite well since I walk between the two sides.
Shaun–are you a monitor on this site, I am trying to understand where your comments are coming from since I don’t see inappropriate attitudes coming from Lisa. Can you imagine being told often and whith a book of love in the hands of the speaker that there is something wrong with you? It would get so exhausting that I might well have walked away. Maybe I am misinterpreting this exchange and if I am, big oops. Here is my blog site–read the examination of the scriptures. Esp I Cor and I Timothy–the Bible translators switched the words in the 60 and 70′s to homosexual. I personally find this repulsive when I see the pain it has caused to REAL people. http://www.canyonwalkerconnections.com
Kathy, i am not understanding from Matt’s message where the anti-the-gay POV, whatever that means, is being received by you or Lisa. If that is what you are receiving, then please accept that that is not the intent of the message in my understanding and would never be the message the village church would endorse.
My understanding of the bible is that it very well explains the character of God and discusses the continual self-will of ALL mankind and God’s great gift of his Son as the both the Redeemer of the world and the teacher of the world as how to live. so my understand does not recognize any harm that Matt Chandler is doing other than pointing out that Bible has told how all of mankind has a problem with the sinful nature and then at the same time the Bible explains how through Christ God has set the world right with himself and will one day set everything to his will, meaning our misunderstandings of each other here will one day be made right by Him. In the meantime, it is clear that God is withholding judgement in that everyone living may come to the knowledge of Him through His Son and helped by the Spirit. I am sorry that Matt’s and my message may strike emotion with anyone. It is important to me that that my understanding be posted here. I am not here to persuade anyone else. I am writing to participate in this dialogue, and felt that if the site’s mission is true, then my understanding belongs here as well.
Perhaps this will clarify my understanding: http://fm.thevillagechurch.net/resource_files/audio/201006271700FMWC21ASAAA_MattChandler_StandAlone-CelebratingtheGospel.mp3
Just because a person confesses to be a Christian does not mean that he or she is one. A wrong judgment by a evangelical “Christian” should not represent all evangelical/Christian and who ever will judge all Christian in that way is equally as wrong. God is Love, God is righteousness, and God has established order in everything he created, so that means an apple is not an orange. Don’t judge God without first getting to really know him
For anyone who happens upon this thread, please don’t presume the nature of the facts or prejudge the context of the link posted by me named RELEVANT. Judge for your self the contents, but do it with due diligence and seek out the individual who published the content. It is important to not make false accusations as to the heart or intent of the individual or the group of individuals without personal experience with them. Thank you for your consideration and may we all be blessed by each other rather than judged.
RELEVANT: http://fm.thevillagechurch.net/culture-theology
A message from WatermarkRadio.com: http://www.watermarkradio.com/index.php?id=153&channel=543&series=156&message=4
and Tom— I know about 800 GLBT Christians, ex gay therapy is not effective. You can suppress it or act socially acceptably, but–born gay–are gay.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjA0yqheKcs Ex gay survivor of Living Hope Program.
I agree with his church’s idea to reach out to the GLBT community and to apologize for the failings of many Christians. As Christians we are to hate the sin, love the sinner. As much as I appreciate his goal and outreach to introduce the GLBT community to a loving Christian church, I feel a little defeated simultaneously. Many of my gay friends have explained their points of views to me, but nearly all of them believe they chose their paths. I’m worried that his church may be teaching some very off-base doctrines. My church is solid on the “come as you are” idea. Anyone of any background and identity may come in and find love. But we don’t sweeten the deal. I believe the road to heaven was described as a narrow path. I, however, don’t believe that we have the ability to change the width of the path to make others feel better. I mean no disrespect to anyone, nor am I looking for debate. I just feel that somehow this Church is making Jesus available but they’re changing the rules a little to meet the needs of the generation. Jesus most definitely loves everyone and we as Christians must do the same, but we can still love without condoning the sin.
I agree. The word is the word. I do believe many churches are viewed as judgemental and biased and they probably are. But, like one the videos said. It is what it is. God has raised the standard and there is no way around it. But, just as He is a God of judgement, He is a God of love. Just as we don’t like some of the things our children do when they break the rules and they don’t see the wrong in it, we still love them with all our hearts and don’t give up on them. So is our Father in heaven.
Rich, over the past 28, my life has sometimes left me quite angry and confused. I was very young when I noticed myself having a very strong same sex attraction. Due to mixed messages coming from my parents, friends and close family, I never publicly lived in honesty about my struggle. When I was fifteen I moved away from home to live on the streets in Halifax N.S. Canada; I felt so free, and so scared. I was so scared because I encountered a lot of hostility toward the gay community prior to the move, and so free because I found comfort in the arms honesty.
I went over the preverbal ledge of caution and unrestrained experience. My freedom quickly faded to stress and unfulfilled lust. My fear faded to aggression and self harm. I never really found what I was looking for. What I found looked a lot like what I had at home, differing only with the many people who affirmed my life choices. However, I still found no lasting comfort or security. After a year of empty physical and emotional experiences I returned home. I was completely derailed. After a year of trying to conform to the “normalcy” of small town life and returned to my wanderings. This time my journey lead me to everything I needed but and nothing I was looking for. Every time I think back on this experience it reminds me of who really was in control of my circumstances. When I first realized to what end my sin was leading me and that I had a choice to redirect t my life in love and service to a God who loved me and served me with His life I hoped this would change. The funny thing is I had really no idea as to how much change would occur. The Not so funny thing is I had really no idea as to how hard the change would be. I am currently a Pastor in Niagara Falls Canada. Here as leader and disciple, one challenge I face is to expose my congregation to “The Love” and educate them to pour out “The Love” to all men and women no matter what their gender preference is. I am married to a beautiful lady named Christina. I am my wife’s first boy friend, first kiss, but “second” love. She has loved me unwaveringly and walks with me as we, time to time, wade deep through the consequences of my past.
Thank you Rick and Team for all you are doing. Be encouraged and not down heartened when opposition comes. May God strengthen you and keep you rock solid in your conviction against all currents of narrow minded, manipulating, judgmental and deceptive lies.
Chris MacQuarrie
This is my first time here, but this is a subject that is so touchy especially with my kids who view homosexuality as acceptable and when it really comes down to it, what do I say? I can say the Word of God is the Word of God, but how do you tell that to a homosexual who genuinely deep in their hearts, love someone as I say, love my husband or my daughter would love her boyfriend, or to someone who genuinely wants to start a “fullfilling” productive life with a same gender partner, i.e, get a job, an education, get married, raise children. I mean, these folks just want to have a loving law-abiding life like the rest of us. How do you approach that without them feeling personally attacked or judged? What alarms me most is how is seems to be so acceptable among the young (high school) people. (not to seem judgemental here). But, do they know what they’re getting into or is just something that has become “cool” to do. Sometimes i think it makes those who have genuine feelings look bad. I’m not pro but would certainly not want to approach someone and make them feel attacked (although that may be inevitable at some point). The Bible says that His word will never come back empty and that the Spirit will give you what you need to speak and to speak in love (remember Cor 13). That’s about all i have to stand on.
Norma,
), but this too is perhaps better done in moderation. Your own kids is one thing, but if someone, stranger or friend, came up to me now at the age of 20 and started telling me that it’s a sin for me to have a boyfriend…I would treat their imposition with all the contempt it deserves.
I too love your honesty. You clearly believe homosexuality is a sin but you accept that different people have different standards, and different ideas as to the relevance of the Bible. I have a lot of respect for that.
Just one thing I noticed:
“But, do they know what they’re getting into or is just something that has become “cool” to do”
I think you’re confusing the fact that homosexuality is becoming more and more accepted in society with it being something that’s actually a positive thing. I had various experiences when I eventually came out to my friends – some said it was like I gave them a missing piece to a puzzle and we became even closer. Others didn’t take it so well and I inevitably lost a few friends (unfortunately many of them because of their Christianity). However, not one single person said “wooow, that’s so cool!”
Even today, and especially at school among teenagers, being openly gay, or even just being widely suspected of being gay causes problems such as physical and emotional bullying, social ostracisation, leading for some to lifelong consequences of depression or worse.
So no. I would incredibly surprised to meet, for example, a guy who is attracted only to girls, but tells everyone he’s gay and has a boyfriend just to appear “cool”. First, sexuality doesn’t work that way and second, high school really, really doesn’t work that way.
Homosexuality is not on the rise. Open homosexuality is. With all the potential issues that can arise no straight person in their right mind is going to pretend to be gay. So I have to question the intention behind statements like “Sometimes i think it makes those who have genuine feelings look bad”
Finally:
“I can say the Word of God is the Word of God, but how do you tell that to a homosexual”
You perhaps forget that the majority of gay people are well aware that homosexual activity is frowned upon by the Christian idea of God. However, as adults they have the right to make their own decisions and these decisions should be respected. I am not religious, but I believe in your right to be Christian and don’t try and impose my own ideas on you (if it seems like I’m trying to do this right now then sorry!)
Of course you’re entitled to try and impose your values on your kids (all parents do
John,
Thanks for your response. I always wondered about the high school environment. I can only go by what other kids say or how it comes out, like it’s the thing to do. I used to worry that if that’s what it was that my daughter would be in that “boat”. I don’t realize she’s almost an adult and don’t give her enough credit for being mature enough to know the difference. She’s very much pro-gay and is very angry about the treatment the gay community gets. So what can this Christian mom do lol..but listen and try to see where she’s coming from. She’s very vocal about it on facebook (where my christian friends are) and it can put a wrinkle on my face just cause they’re seeing it. But at the end of the day I would be creating a monster. Her views are her views and i’d rather my friends raise their eyebrows than her not talk to me about it. Absolutely everyone has a choice and those should be respected. I’ve learned much talking to my girl that imposing my views on her only worsens the situation. We’ve learned to let each other know where the other stands and just agree to disagree. It’s also a shame that the friends you’ve lost are the Christian ones. The bible tells us to be like Christ. He was a friend to everyone and turned no one away. He might not have agreed with the things done or said. But He still remained a friend. And that’s how it should be. God Bless
Norma, thanks for your reply.
I apologise in advance if this crosses over into an area you’re not comfortable discussing, but would I be correct in thinking that your main concern is the possibility that your daughter’s support for gay rights stems from homosexual tendencies of her own?
If this is the case, I can understand why this may cause you some concern as a Christian parent, but I have to applaud your sensitivity over the matter. The most important thing of all is to make it clear you’ll always love her, whatever path she ends up taking, and it seems like you’re already doing this.
I wish all parents of all religions and of none could be as understanding and accepting as you seem to be.
About my Christian friends, some of them pretty much effectively ended the relationship there and then, but a greater majority stepped up their evangelical attempts and as a result of their consistent unwillingness to let the subject drop I had to make the hard decision to distance myself from them. As I said, the decision to be openly gay, contrary to popular belief, is not one to be taken lightly, especially in high school. Those who take advantage of people at this vulnerable and uneasy time by trying to “change someone’s mind” about being gay show a startling lack of understanding and compassion.
Anyway, sorry for going off-topic a little. I wish you and your daughters all the best of luck and happiness.
Norma,
I love your honesty. What *do* you say to your kids?
Benjamin, I try to stick to the Bible but at the same time try to bring other situations that are more real to them without passing judgement on their views. I’ve had many healthy debates with my daughter who is very pro-gay (marriage, jobs, equality and such) and although i can’t change her views (which is not my intent), I let her know where I stand and the church stands according to the word of God (the best way i can, i’m no theologan). The change is not mine to make. I leave that to God and really in the end, their own choices. Because God gave us all a free will. All I can do is be the best example i can be and just love them
Unfortunately, it seems the Bible and God are being very distorted among those calling themselves “Christians” today. Some Christians today are so concerned with being politically correct and all-inclusive that they are completely disregarding the Bible as the Word of God and justifying sin. It is true that ALL sinners are equal, gay and straight alike, and ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. We all must repent of our sins and accept His grace if we are to be saved. However, to make everyone feel shiny happy with each other, some are perverting the Word of God. It is not okay to twist the Bible to meet your personal agenda and make your friend happy! These are false Christians! We are not supposed to worry about what the world thinks. We are supposed to be not of THIS world, but of God’s kingdom! So many people have tried to make Jesus “cool” and inclusive. It is true that He is the God of love, but he is also God who is angered by sin. He is also a God to be feared! How easily this world has forgotten that He has destroyed entire nations because they were so sinful!
It is not okay to hate the gay community, but we should pray for them! We should pray for all sinners! Christians who preach hate is wrong, but God does not hate gay people. He died for all. However, he calls us to turn from our sins, and it seems many church communities have forgotten that.
If a group of people gathered and tried to alter the definition of the word “cheesecake,” or the word “vacation,” would it be “unloving” to disagree with their proposition? No, the legal definition of vacation is time off. If you change that, vacationers will lose the joy and authenticity of what they love so much about their vacation. Marriage, albeit different, is similar in some ways. Let me explain before you start throwing rocks.
Marriage is defined as the authentic joining in unity of a man and a woman for the purpose of lifelong partnership and commitment. If you change the definition of marriage, the authenticity of that beautiful thing is potentially at stake.
What I dont understand is… why don’t the gays (whom I love with all my heart) try to invent a civil union that is unique to gays? They can call it whatever they want. That way, they can experience the untouched authenticity of their type of relationship without trying to squeeze themselves into the definition of ours. Marriage is special. Please stop trying to change it. The ease of divorce has already decimated the authenticity of marriage – it’s no longer till-death-do-us-part, and now you’re arguing for more changes. Soon it will be “marry a guy or a woman or a dog or all three we don’t care, it’s just marriage.”
Three cheers for authenticity.
Luke, there’s a few things wrong with your argument. I’ll address them in the order you brought them up.
–
First, you suggest that gay rights activists are attempting to change the definition of marriage. That is exactly the same as saying civil rights activists were trying to change the definition of education when they wanted to end segregation in the schools. It’s also exactly the same as saying suffragists were trying to change the definition of democracy when they wanted to allow women and minorities an equal right to participate in it. These changes did not destroy the core values of education or democracy in our country. Rather, they bettered both. There is no reason to think that allowing two consenting adults, regardless of gender, to have equal access to marriage will destroy marriage. Given the dedication of those pursuing marriage equality, I’d say that people who are so fervently supportive of marriage would likely strengthen the social value of the institution.
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Second, “the gays” don’t want to invent some sort of parallel, marriage-like institution because our relationships are deserving of the same rights, privileges, responsibilites, and recognition as heterosexual relationships. Marriage is not “owned” by any one group or religion or culture, and is celebrated many different ways. It has been defined many different ways by many different peoples throughout history, yet those changes have not decimated its authenticity. Why? Because it works. Denying it to gays and lesbians simply because you have some misplaced fears about the cultural implications of semantics is prejudicial behavior and not appropriate for a nation that holds equality in such high regard.
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Third, your definition of marriage is not going to be changed. No one can rule over the hearts and minds of others. No one can make you value something or believe in something against your will. What will be changed is the legal definition of marriage and only the legal definition. Your definition, by the way, is not even close to the legal definition. You left out at least one very important part. The law requires that all parties to a contract (which marriage is) are capable of informed consent to that contract. This precludes your slippery slope “marry a dog” principle, as other species are not capable of informed consent. This principle of informed consent also precludes underage marriage, a practice which we got rid of some time ago.
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Finally, you would do well to remember a time when interracial marriages were not viewed as authentic. Why? Because it’s just as insulting to tell a married gay couple that their relationship is inauthentic as it is to tell a married interracial couple the same thing.